Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
