i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
