Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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