i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
