just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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