is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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