pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
