Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so let's talk penis.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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