I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
