Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
