My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
40s are totally the cure
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
