This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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