i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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