i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
