WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
