is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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