I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize