the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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