I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
