The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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