We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
