Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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