let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I could fuck to npr.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
