he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
