You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
