But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
