It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
