so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
