now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i out mim tonsoeep
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