i think i have herpe
just one?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
