I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
