PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
