Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Welp...herpes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
