just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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