I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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