Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize