I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize