and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
