just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I touched a dick in church today
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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