Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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