You're so nebulous sometimes
My first STD was from a foam party
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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