I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
