I just saw a hot homeless man
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Someone came in the potted fern
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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