He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
