saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
