you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
