dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
