My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
