why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
