Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
