id be glad to
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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