Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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