sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
