Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize