on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize