I heard we made out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
