You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
