dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
