Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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