She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
