Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
