Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
