are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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