you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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