I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
