I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
whose parrot is this?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
