How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are all done wearing pants today
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize