He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
