if i can run in heels then i can drive
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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